It has been a long time since I’ve written. Not because I did not want to, but life got the better of us. This past year has been hard with my grandfather entering into the last months of his life with his battle with cancer, to the news that my older son, Luke, has Pervasive Developmental Disorder or PDD. This was particularly hard to take. PDD is on the Autism spectrum and I all I could think about during the diagnosis process was a conversation I had with a friend the day after Joshua’s birth. Jon is my best friend’s husband and we went to college together. After they transported Joshua to Vanderbilt’s NICU I sent most of my family to be with him as I could not leave the hospital yet. Jon came in after they had left and said “I don’t know what to say.” Which I really appreciated. I looked at him and said “At least its not Autism. I don’t know if I could handle that.” I did not know then how that statement would come back to haunt me.
We’ve had a difficult past few months coming to term with the fact that not only will Luke have to deal with a medical syndrome, but these learning and social issues as well. For the first time I really got angry with God over life and the direction in which it was going . I realize that all of this is happening for a reason, though I may not see what that is right now. The important thing is that Luke is doing well in school and seems to be happy. What more could a mother want. Right now he is being pulled out with the hopes that we can slowly incorporate him into the regular classroom without having to rely on an aide.
Joshua is thriving at his school. I really think he is a shining example of why Down Syndrome should probably be called “Up Syndrome” instead. He is such a happy, loving child who loves the outdoors, reading books, and giving hugs.
I am really going to make an effort to keep up with this blog. I found that writing was such a great therapy outlet for me and I miss it.